Ok, so before I go on a long hiatus for New Years and forget the details of this story I’ll document the incident that I had with the company car. Now, to preface this story, I have to mention that there are two company cars that were left in my care when I got back from my last extended trip overseas and which were also included in my “Promotion”. The first car was a 2003 Toyota Camry and prior to taking ownership of this vehicle the previous employee got into an accident the day he was fired and damaged the right front of the car pretty bad. The other vehicle was a brand new 2006 SUV that had only 7000 miles on it. The biggest issue with this vehicle is that it is a lease and it is on the 9th month of a 39 month lease with 12,000 miles a year allocated to it.
So When I first got my “Promotion” I was told I could use the Camry as I pleased. Although it had been damaged it was a nice car to drive and better than my own ’94 4-door-shit-box. So I drove it for about 2 weeks when the sales guy who had been fired returned the 2006 SUV he had been driving. The day he returned it he told me I might as well drive it as it would just be sitting there. Of course being that it was newer and did not have any damage I figured “Why Not?” So I parked the Camry in the company spot in the office garage and took over the SUV. As the months when on HQ finally told “Office Assistant Girl” to look into getting rid of the SUV as it was a lease and cost too much money. So, “OAG” and I began to place it onto Criagslist.org and another type of ad service web site that she knew of. We had 4 inquiries in the first week and that was it. We also found out that trying to turn over ownership of a lease is not very easy. There are two ways of going about it. 1) Have the person who wants to take over the lease do a joint lease with the current lessee (Currently “Dickboy” is the name on the lease, why he did not put the lease in the company name is beyond comprehension but that is also why he is “Dickboy”. Please see the “More of a Chess Match” post to understand who “Dickboy” is. But also keep in mind “Dickboy is out of the country and his position requires him to be at HQ office overseas) 2) have the person who wants the lease pay the full amount owed on the contract, in this case it would be roughly $13,000. So as you could imagine it is not easy to find someone who would want to do this. Also, because I was the one benefiting from this whole stupid thing anytime I got a call or e-mail about the SUV I pretty much ignored them, therefore allowing me more time to drive the nice SUV.
So another month goes by and I’ve ignored 4 e-mails and “OAG” has had no luck. Now even though this lease is in “Dickboy’s” name he is still having the company pay for this vehicle each month and that is why HQ has directed “OAG” to get rid of it. Since we were having problems unloading it “Dickboy” works out a deal with his brother-in-laws-friends-roommate to just send him a check for the lease each month. Seriously! This is why this guy is such a fucking idiot and the reason this company is in the state that it’s in, he constantly tried to make deals like this without really considering the possible ramifications if something went wrong. Anyway, I’m told by “OAG” the brother-in-laws-friends-roommate is going to pick up the vehicle in a week so I basically have that amount of time left with it and then I’ll have to go back to driving the Camry, which really isn’t that bad but I have really become attached to the SUV and was hoping to take it on the 4-day trip the Wife and I are going on the week of New Years.
Well, the last weekend I’ve got the SUV and I pick up a friend of mine to go out and we make a quick pit stop for coffee. I pull into the parking lot and think that I can squeeze into a certain space that has a car on the right side of the spot and a wall on the left side. As I’m making this precarious maneuver my friend kind of jumps and says “hey, did you just nudge that car?” I didn’t think I had so I continue to move into the spot. As I do we both notice the car on the right move. “Oh Shit” I pull out and drive down to the underground parking structure. We both get out and look. The front right bumper and quarter panel are scratched to hell. In my heads I’m thinking “shit, I can’t have this screw up the deal with the brother-in-laws-friends-roommate and also how bad did I just fuck up the other person’s car.” The damage to the SUV estimated in my head is about $800 but I’m about to make a dick move. I ask my friend if he thinks anyone saw us do it to which he is unsure. I say fuck it and we leave. Now the only thing I am really mad about is that I screwed the other person. But I don’t want to have to explain all this to the company, to “OAG”, and to “Dickboy” because ultimately I’m not supposed to be driving the SUV I was only allowed in my “Promotion” to drive the Camry.
Well the initial incident is behind me since I became “That Guy” and took off. But now I have to spend the next week or so making sure no one sees this huge fuck up. I also have in the back of my head the fact that someone could have seen me do it and took my plate # down as we took off but that is really only a passing thought. I have a plan that once the new guy comes to look at the vehicle that he’ll notice it and I’ll just play dumb and say I have no idea how it happened and wonder if it was caused by someone else while I was parked at a mall or something. So, I come into work three or four days after the incident and “OAG” tells me the guy is coming to see the SUV, that particular day I was going to leave early anyway. I tell her that I’ll take the Camry home and leave her with the SUV keys and paperwork so that she can show it to him. I leave and figure I’ll get a call that night while she’s showing it to him and she’ll ask me about what happened to the SUV because it’s all scratched up but I don’t. I get into work the next day and the SUV is gone! I get into the office and ask “OAG” what happened when he came over and she says he’ll be back that Friday with the first check and that she took his license as collateral! My jaw has now hit the floor! Nothing is said about the damage but that is the least of my thoughts. “OAG” has just given some stranger the keys to a brand new car with no real way to know if this guy didn’t just steal it. There is no solid way of knowing if this guy is going to bring it right to a chop shop. I explain to her how bad this is and she is clueless as to why I’m telling her all of the possible way s this guy could have just stolen the car. She thinks that just because she has his license that he has to come back to which I counter with “How do you know it’s not a fake ID?!”
To give you an idea how clueless “OAG” is, two days before this she didn’t have enough cash to pay for parking as she was leaving a mall parking garage. Instead of turning around and going to an ATM she parked her car next to the booth and gave her credit card to the Parking Attendant to hold while she went to an ATM to get cash. Initially the parking attendant had asked for her Drivers License but she was afraid of the possibility having her identity stolen so she gave him her credit card to hold. The next morning she went to get gas and her card was declined. She called the credit card company and found out her card had been maxed out after a $1200 purchase had been made in Oklahoma (at least 1500 miles from us). It is my assumption that the parking attendant got the card number, the expiration date, and the 3 number security code on the back of the card and e-mailed all of that info to someone out there. Or they could have just purchased something online at a store in Oklahoma. What ever happened she’s proved once again that she has no sense of logic but I digress.
So now “brother-in-laws-friends-roommate” has made no payment for the SUV, has signed no paperwork for the SUV, but has possession of the SUV and we have no idea where he is or who he really is. Seriously when I got into the office that morning she was happy and smiling because she was so proud that she got rid of the SUV and that HQ and Dickboy would be happy that there was one less bill we had to pay. Of course her smile quickly disappeared once I explained the possibility that this guy might never show up again. We decided to wait till Friday to see if he showed up and I told her that I really wanted no part of any of these deals it was all between her Dickboy and “brother-in-laws-friends-roommate”. That night she got a call from the guy and he told her what time on Friday he wanted to come by but that he also wanted to look at the Camry to potentially but it too. “OAG” got off the phone from this call and screamed “You’ll never believe it! He just called and wants to buy the Camry too. See, he is real and he is going to pay! This is great news!” to which I replied immediately “Of course he wants the Camry, he just stole a brand new SUV from you yesterday and figures your gullible enough to just hand over the keys to another car with no questions asked. If I was him I’d do that same thing!” If it’s not apparent, I said this with a heavy, heavy dose of sarcasm to which “OAG” lost her smile and sunk slowly back down into her chair. Yes, on top of being a lazy non-working slacker, I’m a cynical sarcastic prick also.
Friday arrives and amazingly enough the guy comes to the office and he also has a friend with him. In my head I am imagining this guy brought his friend with him to see what the “stupid-girl-who-give-cars-away” looks like. It’s like when you’re driving and someone in front of you cuts you off, you have that urge to get up next to them and see what they look like, basically just to see what “Stupid” looks like. So he and his friend are talking to “OAG” and they’re speaking in another language (the HQ language that I can’t speak). “OAG” comes over to my desk and asks for the keys to the Camry so they can take a look at it. They all leave and come back about 20 minutes later. It was already past noon when they had arrived and I was about to get lunch but decided to stick around to see what was going to happen, they had been here for about an hour by the time they came back from looking at the Camry and I was getting hungry. So, when they got back into the office I asked “OAG” what was going on because I wanted to take the Camry to lunch but if they were going to take it I would just go down the street to the pizza place. She informs me that they were not here to take both but were deciding on whether to take the Camry and leave the SUV or just to take the SUV and do the paperwork for it. This was an unexpected surprise to me and to tell you the truth I was hoping that they’d take the Camry so that I would have the SUV again. After another 20 minutes of discussing things they decide to take the SUV and leave the Camry.
“Brother-in-laws-friends-roommate” gave “OAG” a check signed some papers and he and his friend left. All the while I have been wondering if he might be trying to steal the SUV I had kinda put the damage I had done to it in the back of my mind. About a minute after they left I told “OAG” that I was starving and that I was going to get lunch. She was parked behind the Camry so I had to have her come down to the garage and move her car so I could get out. The elevators in our building are painfully slow so when we got to the elevator “brother-in-laws-friends-roommate” was still there waiting for it. We all pile into the elevator and go to the garage. As we get down there “OAG” say “Oh yeah, hey I have to show you something.” (Me: *gulp*) “When he took the SUV a few days ago he called me that night and told me there was some damage on the bumper.” I quickly responded to her with this. “Really, how do we know he didn’t do it himself?” This is what she says to me – “Well he called me right away as soon as he saw it. I don’t think he would do something like that if he did it himself.” Seriously I don’t know how I have not strangled her! I told her that since he did not bring it up to her before he took the vehicle and because we had not seen this damage before that it was not our responsibility. No one can prove one way or the other who did it, other than my own admission of guilt on this blog, but because he did not point it out prior to driving it away it is his responsibility. I like to believe that I got away clean but I really do feel kinda bad for screwing up the other car.
ON another note: By the time it was all said and done and we had given up control of this SUV I had racked up about 4000 mile on it bringing the grand total of miles to just fewer than 11,000. If you’ve never had a lease or don’t know about them, when you turn the vehicle over to the dealer at the end of the lease you get charged for every mile over the allocated amount of miles on the contract. For the first year alone on the SUV there was now 11,000 miles on a 12,000 mile a year contract and it’s only the 9th month of the entire contract. At this rate the SUV will have 14,600 mile on it in the first year or 2600 mile over. With a 39 month lease and 2600 mile per year over that’s 7800 miles total over for the contract of the lease. Normal overage charges for a lease are like 22cents per mile over. When this SUV gets turned in to the dealer it’s going to cost another $1800 just for the miles. Glad I could help.
Well, there’s my final story of the year from this place. I have a conference call with the “Director of Operations” on Tuesday night Jan 2nd so I’m sure next Wed. posts will be chalk full of details of my impending demise.
Till then…have a great New Year...I’ll still be playing games!Labels: blogs, boss, bullshit, Fired, I quit, money, pay check, PC games, porn, quit, Stupid Job, Sucks, Video Games, Work, work sucks, Your job sucks |
